Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

(v25, NIV)

This instruction is for husbands to live their wives. Wives are to submit to their husbands, but husbands must love their wives. At first glance, that may seem unfair. Submission seems so much harder than love. Love has been swayed and altered by the culture. Looking at movies and television today as our major influences, I feel as if we don't really know or understand what love is, myself included. I get the idea that the culture is that we are to hook up, have sex, then step back and ask if we're in love or not. Or maybe you can fool around with someone without loving them. When you do fall in love, it's this crazy compelling feeling you have that conquers all obstacles in its path. It's as if you've just opened a question box with a star in it. Upon grabbing that star, you're on this crazy invulnerable high that even hypes you up with upbeat music in the background. What is love? Fortunately, the passage doesn't end there. The love husbands are to have for their wives is modeled by the love Christ has for the church. Jesus is our model for love. He loved the church so much that he gave himself up for her. Sure, wives have to submit to their husbands, but husbands have to love their wives to the point of death. So, more specifically, how does Christ love the church? Well, we already know that Christ gave himself up for the church.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

(John 15:13, NIV)

This act of love Christ did for the church is the greatest form of love. He laid down his life for the church. So, how did he do it? I know for myself that I have a hard time loving others. This is true especially since people are sinners. We're not perfect, and it's hard to love those who are unlovely. I may feel loving for the most part towards someone, but sooner or later, I'll have a bad day or they'll piss me off and then I won't feel so loving towards them.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

(Romans 5:6-8, NIV)

God is holy, righteous, pure and just. He is the infinite, almighty God of the universe. How can such a holy and pure God even look at us who are dirty and covered with filthy rags of sin? And yet, even though we were still sinners, Christ died for us. How awesome is our loving heavenly Father?

So how does God do it? I have such a hard time loving the unlovely, but God has already demonstrated his own love for us. His love has been poured out upon the unlovely. Other people may seem unlovely to us, but that's between two sinful people. Between the holy God and us sinful creatures, there is a much greater difference in the comparison. Jesus, our model for love, chose to love us.

Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

(Luke 22:39-44, NIV)

In this passage, Jesus is praying. Jesus is about to go to the cross and he doesn't necessarily feel like doing it. He asks if this cup could be taken away from him. However, he submits to the will of the father. So whether Jesus felt like it or not, he still chose to sacrifice himself for the church. In the same way, when we are to love, it should be irrelevant of whether we feel like doing it or not. Here is a biblical definition of love I got from Voddie Baucham:

"An act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that leads to action, on behalf of its object"

(Voddie Baucham)

Love is a choice, so those you love you choose to love. There is emotion in this act of love, but it's not lead by emotion. When we're lead by our emotions, it is an unpredictable roller coaster of ups and downs. This act of love will lead to some sort of action for whomever or whatever is the target of this love. Jesus' love for the church caused him to lay down his life for the church.

A lot of this was taken from the love and marriage sermons series by Voddie Baucham. I suggest you listen to it because he explains it a lot better and in greater detail. He's also very funny.