Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

(v29, NIV)

Unwholesome talk makes me think of people who swear or talk about "dirty" things. I think it's fairly obvious that we shouldn't be swearing. In addition, we shouldn't be talking about "dirty" things. However, unwholesome talk also includes things that do not build up others. Paul instructs that things coming out of our mouths should be helpful for building others up. We shouldn't do the opposite of that, which is tearing others down. Clearly, tearing others down includes insults. However, this may come in the form of making "jokes" or "joking around". In this way, I find myself justifying my actions by thinking them to be merely jokes. However, words have meaning and words can hurt. Why would we want to hurt others or tear down a member of the body of Christ? Let us use our mouths and the words that come from it to build others up.

One other important thing is that building others up is according to their needs. This tells us something about how we build others up or the way it works. Simply, the way we go about building up others is not the same for everyone. When we build up others, the building up is according to that person's needs. You can't build up someone with or for something that he or she already has. It has to be something that he or she needs. This requires analysis of that person and knowing and understanding what he or she needs.