Light vs Darkness

A huge theme mention in John's Gospel it idea of light vs darkness. In beginning of the John's Gospel, the contraction of the Jesus being light coming to the dark world. The world does not know nor understand this darkness, but Christ makes himself noticeable for those who are not afraid or willing to see pass the darkness they live in. I am challenge by this idea of light vs. darkness in my life.
Reading to day ch 12 of John I felt a little unsettle in part of the passage:
Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.v 23-26

A part of me felt resisting to every time I read, "serve, follow me". I not saying I am going to abandon the faith but I know there something at work here. like the light vs. the darkness. A part of me felt to embrace the fleshly desire but also to embrace the life that God has. Ironically Christ has call us to die because that's where life is, This is so abstract thinking, life through death. This is so awkward to someone who does not know Christ but as me and you experience that is where the well spring of life is.
Pray That we can be like john the Baptiste has said, "I must decrease, he must increase"