Why you do what you do: Achievement Vs sense of belonging

As a man, we always have a desire to achieve something BIG in life, whether it is the money you want to make, a company you want to build, a status or a degree you want to get, your rank at work, or doing good things like community works and etc. The fact is that somehow we are made to have the desire to achieve so that in the end of the day we will feel that our life is worth living for. That’s where all the mission statements, visions, or millstones really comes from in organization, because these things drive it and without those things the organization is just dead.

But interestingly, during most times, what we say we want to achieve is not really what we want to achieve. Some people say they want to earn a lot of money, but what they really want is not the money, but the happiness they think they could buy with it. Some might have decided to devote their whole life to do something good like helping kids who cannot read, but most (but not all) of what they really want is the self-fulfillment and the recognition from the society; I might sound silly here but I think this list can go on and on.

As Jim Carry, one of Hollywood’s highest paid actors said: “I wish everyone could get rich and famous and get everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that's not the answer.” He is saying that what we thought it was the answer is actually not, because what we are trying to achieve is not where we want to get in life, but something else. So what is this something else? It is important to find out why we do what we do, otherwise everything is just meaningless clothed with artificial meaning.

What we try to achieve is really the sense of belonging. This is in fact everything in life. When we feel a sense of belonging, we feel happy, honored, and/or motivated to move on. Our money, or time or effort is not an issue anymore when we feel that we are accepted, we are being respected by others and ultimately we feel that are loved. We want to feel that sense of belonging, and we will search until we find someone or something that actually accepts our existence, and this is what really drives our lives. If one thing doesn't work, we try another thing. It might mean switching companies, changing life goals, changing wives or girlfriends, and new houses, new cars, etc.

However, the problem is that no matter what we do, and how hard we try, everything we try doesn't really get us anywhere. The saddest part is that sometimes I would hear people saying how they only realize this fact until they are too late on their dead bed, and their time is short.

What is the answer then? A lot of people try so hard to be the person who they hate just so that they can feel accepted by their surrounding, their peers, and/or the society. But let's think out of the box here. Do you know that the truth is instead of belonging to the created thing, we suppose to belong to the creator God alone? God wants us so much and that's why He has created the world for us, but because we have turned away from God with evil thoughts, it makes us become unclean and this uncleanness has separated us from God. However the good news is since He wants us so badly, He did one very “irrational” decision to pay all our debt through his only righteous Son Jesus Christ by dying for us so that we may live. Jesus has the power to do that because He alone is God, sent by God with authority even over death, becoming alive again in 3 days. This is indeed “irrational” why God does this, but the only explanation is because God is Love. He so loved the world and us, he did it anyways for everyone, so that we may be purchased back to Him where we are supposed to belong, as long as we believe in what Jesus has done for us. We are saved and already have that sense of BELONGING -- not because what we have achieved or who we are, but of our faith alone. And this is just a simple love story.

As a Christian like me, I have already received the true sense of belonging. This is where we are supposed to belong: the Kingdom of God, and now I am no longer the slave of performing or doing achievements. As a Christian, it is not about what we have achieved anymore, but instead we are just so satisfied by being part of the picture of God's love story. Now we are so in love and are given a new heart with a new desire to do God's will, which is continue to share this love story to others so that they may be saved as well; and during this walk with God, we are slowly becoming the person who we meant to be. Most importantly, I finally know where I truly belong, and it is by grace, not by my own work.